Archive for September, 2010


Sometimes drinking yourself under a table is not the best way to get a date (Note: This is not me I am in better shape)

Me at Geoff's wedding reception with his sister Janice

If your like me, insert 20 somethingish trying to figure out your place in the world either climbing the corporate ladder or experimenting with different options, then you probably have noticed what I have noticed lately. Just take a look at your Facebook feed, I am not going crazy but it seem everyone I know is getting into relationships, engaged or already married.

With 2 weddings already this year (thanks Lindsey and Tolga, Julie and Geoff) and some more invites in the pipeline, you start to wonder if your single, how on earth are you going to meet someone that you don’t already know?

Well how do most people meet? According to a study by Match.com an online dating website based in the US suggest the following:

1) Through work/school                    36%

2) Through friend/family member      26%

3) Via Online Dating site                   17%

4) Through bars/clubs/social events   11%

5) Other                                           7%

6) Through church/places of worship    4%

What surprises me about all this is how high online dating is and it does not surprise me that it beats bars/clubs though. Let’s be honest the intentions you have under alcohol or when out partying is not necessarily the best side of a persons character if any indication of their character at all.

So what happens when there are no options through work (ie. all your coworkers are twice your age and married) and you are finished school? There is always your friends and family right? Family get togethers are usually well family unless someone brings a date, and well that would not go over well taking their date would it? Or what if you live in another country? Or be honest when you do go out it is usually with the same group of people because you are so busy living your own lives anyways, and the time is spent catching up. Lastly, I am against online dating although I know of some success stories, to me it seems unnatural and I could imagine discouraging as most people on it are because they are lonely and tired of trying or waiting for it to “happen”.

With all that said, NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE EASY!! If it was I probably should at this point be able to keep a relationship more than 9 months (which if your wondering why you should even take advice from a guy like me, I will leave it to your judgement, but know I am friends with all my ex’s and 90% of them are in happy relationships, call me good luck mac 😉 ). There are millions of books out there, recently a few more for men (ie. THE GAME, MYSTERY METHOD), even a reality TV shows teaching men how to pickup women. However, the problem with these books for most guys, is well they take it literally, making it a game to “neg” girls, etc. and mostly revolve around picking up girls at a bar. Don’t get me wrong, you have to start somewhere with a complete stranger you don’t know, but beyond that initial attraction stage, surprise surprise you yourself have to carry the relationship, not gambits &games.

So with all that ranting done, here is my take on dating and what you came for…

TOP 5 WAYS TO FIND YOURSELF A DATE

1. Be Interesting
What does that even mean??? Maybe it’s doing magic tricks, or knowing every line to Anchorman? What is interesting for one person can be boring for another. What I mean by interesting is be passionate about something. Think about it, you know those people, when they talk to you their eyes light up, they have skip to their step, they are wait for it… HAPPY. The times in life when you meet people are the times when you are complete, when you are feeling fufiled chasing your dreams/hopes. Just reading a book right now called The Way of the Superior Man, but one thing that really stuck out for me was the idea that by not pursuing your own inner dreams, passions, you will not feel complete, hence you will be cheating a partner out of a truly complete relationship. So start with figuring out how to be truly happy, and if your not, you need to start looking inside to figure out who YOU really are, character, dreams, passions, before you can expect anyone else to start to discover it.

2. Get out there.

If you ever get a chance pick up a book called the last lecture or at least watch the YouTube video. If you are not familiar with it, last lectures are done at some universities where professors teach if it was their last lecture what they would want to leave behind, in this case it is literally a last lecture as a professor at Carnegie Mellon named Randy Pausch is diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

The reason I bring this up is, it is about getting out there! There is no point having dreams and goals if your not moving towards them, you might not get exactly the goal, but along the way you will not only find more fulfillment in your own life, but help others achieve their own goals and dreams. It is a tale old as time but I still think it is important today, in life and relationships, it is not what you say, it is what you do that counts and matters.

3. Meet NEW PEOPLE

Amazing concept, but sitting at home playing World of Warcraft will not drop the person of your dreams into your lap, that or Facebook stalking people. Go out, chase those dreams, have fun, try new things, along the way you put yourself in situations to meet new people. Make it a goal, don’t just go to a vorspeil (preparty in norwegian) and hangout with the people you already know, mingle, mix, because you never know where things will lead.

One episode from How I met your mother, really hits it home, you want it to happen so badly, you keep waiting for it to happen, but really you need to focus on you and enjoying your life, because that person is on their way as fast as they can.

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/4wG4xdU4JFw/

4. Take a chance
“He who hesitates masturbates” – How to Make it in America quote pretty much sums up that point. If I never asked the cute Swedish girl at the coffee shop to hangout I would have never had an amazing relationship taking me across 3 different countries, life’s biggest regrets are the things you never do. Think it’s from Michael Jordan, but goes along the lines of you will miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

5. Have fun

I guess the Top 5 can really summed up into 1, HAVE FUN!! Have fun with life, focus on you, enjoying the moments with friends and family, the rest will really follow 🙂 So smile, laugh, be happy, and the occasional time drink yourself literally under a table, because that guy didn’t end up alone that night lol.

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Me before summer holidays of food and no exercise hit.

Well here I am back to blogging over a year and a half later. With things about to ramp up with the company (Gunnar Optiks Nordics) for a media launch, I figure I get back in the habit of writing without spell check, well not really, but definitely back in the habit of writing non-emails again.

Recently, I have made an effort to get myself back in shape after the summer holidays. Everyone usually looks for the quick fix, the hit the gym, or I will go on a diet, usually with the same old results. After spending a lot of time reading and researching, as well as a whole life of athletics, I am a firm believer to get results you need to have the right diet, with a good mixture of exercise (not just weights, or running, but all kinds of things).

I have dramatically changed my diet to avoid high insulin burning foods like grains (rice, it is hard!! I am asian) and pastas, and sticking to Primal Blueprint diet of meats, vegetables, fruits, and nuts. The concept is more or less the idea we should eat the way we did before farming began and adopt a lifestyle more attuned to that of Grok the caveman, which by the way today is genetically superior to us (all that MW2 video game playing is not helping). My friend Mikael is the one that got me going with the diet by lending me the book, but from what I understand it is very similar to what is called a paleo diet. Now here is my thing with diets or certain meal things, they are so strict. I do my best to stick to “healthy food” but I am not going to say no to the occasional cheeseburger from Fridays, or dinner out with friends at a Thai place, I think it is important to try your best but don’t beat yourself up about sticking to something. Also, by diet I am referring to what you eat not the idea of losing weight by changing what you are eating. For me this diet so far I feel a lot more energy and I eat when I am hungry, and not to the point anymore where I am laying around after 1lb of lasagna ready for a nap.

The sign I was out of shape was doing a fitness beep test for rugby where I did abysmally (think I barely beat some forwards aka the fat guys). So what are the options for getting in shape?

Well Option 1: The Global Gym, which for me I had done before, and well you quickly lose motivation, get tired of the same routine and lets put it honestly a little anti-social, everyone goes to do their own thing or to try to pickup, but in the end you look the same a year later. Option 2: Personal training, which is great for developing competencies on how to do exercises and makes you show up for sessions with a coach, but is really expensive. Option 3: Home gym, great because you can workout to your schedule and when, the problem is you may not always have all the equipment, or the motivation as it is very lonely to want to sit there doing situps for 30mins by yourself. Option 4: Sports/Activities, are a lot of fun and great for fitness, with rugby I have practices usually 2 times a week, and a game every weekend. I think activities/sports should be done in conjunction with a fitness program, as you do not always get to build on fitness as the majority of time it is focused more on skill development. Plus if you get stronger, faster, makes you even better at the activities you like doing for fun.

A new option a lot of people have not heard of before is Crossfit. Well what is Crossfit, other than these workouts that keep popping on my Facebook newsfeed as I have sync my beyondthewhiteboard Crossfit fitness tracker? Well it is growing in popularity in the US and thank you to my friend Melissa who is a trainer back in Canada for getting me introduced and started. Here is two videos to give you an idea:

I have started doing 3x week sessions at Oslo Crossfit and WOW!! I am loving it. Before I tried doing Crossfit workouts at Elixa where I had a membership, but equipment would always be busy, or they would not have the right stuff, or I didn’t know how to do certain movements properly. Now I have some great instructors helping to teach me essential movements like power cleans, muscle ups, etc. Also, I think one of the things I like the most is the social aspect, you are with a group of 20-30 people all pushing themselves and pushing each other to finish the workouts. You don’t get people cheering you on to finish at the regular gyms that is for sure. Lastly, it is one hell of a workout, although sometimes the Workout of the Day (WOD) is only 10-20mins long, you leave everything out there. I am literally on the floor after a session and exhausted, but so is EVERYONE else. Let me know if you want to come try a session (first one is free) and to learn more about it check out www.crossfit.com

All I know is I am having a lot of fun, feel healither, and for some odd reason catch myself spending too much time in front of the mirror between the shower and actually getting dressed 🙂

– Brian